Ask Molly

Nancy, from Augusta, Georgia: writes:

Dear Molly,
My dog Lucy won't stop barking. She has an anxiety disorder, and any time I try to leave her, she barks and won't stop. I've told her "my way or the freeway," but she keeps on barking. I've tried everything, I pet her, soothe her, give her snacks, everything. She keeps on barking. What should I do.

Frustrated Nancy in Georgia

Dear Nancy,

Does she whimper, shiver, whine, do submissive peeing? Is her tail down flat between her legs when she barks? If so, she is truly anxious.

Plain old barking, with her tail doing a down stroke with the barks, is just her telling you what she wants. And you don't have to worry about her doggy psyche. Normally, I'd smile at how well Lucy has you trained, but I'd hate to see her end up on the freeway or (shudder) the pound.

Lucy loves you and you love her. That's clear, and that's the way it should be. 

Most dogs can't read your mind. They certainly don't understand, "my way or the freeway." You need to tell her "no" in a voice she'll understand means "no." And turn away from her whenever she barks. And whatever you do, don't pet her or feed her when she's barking. That said, she's gotten away with it for so long it will be hard to unlearn the behavior. I recommend a doggy trainer - and ear plugs.


Good luck,

Molly

Readers, if your dog is doing something bad, never, ever pet or feed him/her hoping to distract your dog. We're pretty smart. We'll figure it out. Then we'll act up, come over for a treat, act up, come over for a treat, and so forth.

Barbara Sher's TEDx talk

Hi, Everyone,

Our good Internet friend, Barbara Sher, who is a human and really famous, has recorded a  TEDx talk.  As an overachieving Border Collie, I am impressed with her talk even though she didn't mention bacon chews, or chunks of ham, or liver snacks. Anyway, here's the link. Check it out.

Barbara Sher's TEDx talk


Barks to all of  you,

Molly

Molly's Second Commercial

We're shooting another commercial.

I had to wear this stupid hat.

Buster, my publicist says The Molly Chronicles  makes a great Christmas present.

Licks and tail wags to you all,
Molly

Publicity

Buster, my publicist didn't waste any time.

Buster the publicist

 

 We got to work immediately. I spent all day yesterday on set.   We started with hair, makeup, and costumes. Then they shot some stills and a video. (The video needs work. Mainly because it was shot upside down.)  I must say that the camera loved me.  Here are a few of the shots. The commercial will be featured soon on Facebook, and of course posted here.

Signing off with a tired but contented sigh,

Molly

Ask Molly

Today's "Ask Molly" letter comes from Buster.

Dear Molly,

Do you need a good publicist?  I just finished reading The Molly Chronicles and I realized that you don't have a lot of publicity for the book. You would think that the people at Amazon would help you out with publicity.

I have sterling credentials. I have had extensive experience chasing balls and SQRLS, and barking. And I am a great caretaker for my human who would be lost without me. And, most importantly, I'm very cute. If cuteness is the deciding factor, I'm your man/dog.

Oops, gotta go. SQRLS in the back yard. A watchdog's work is never done.


Buster



Dear Buster,

When  can you start?

Molly

Ask Molly

Terry from Hercules CA writes:

Dear Molly,

You did a great job helping the owls.  Now, what about the humans? Do they need your help before you head home from Galveston?

Terry

P.S. I loved The Molly Chronicles  and plan to give a copy to each of my friends and my cat for Christmas.

Dear Terry,

Thanks you for your concern for the love life of our humans.  Sadie and Yehudi the taiko drummer are doing nicely. They plan to be married next May after Yehudi gets back from going on tour with his band, The Forgettables. They are able to make time in their busy schedules for music and love.

Signing off with a la-la-la, and a bong-bong-bong
Molly

P.S. I'm glad you enjoyed The Molly Chronicles.  

Winston and Wynona

Dear Readers,
Molly the Border Collie reporting.

I am exhausted.

You will remember that I had flown to Galveston Texas to straighten out the owls and the romantic mess they were in. To recap, Wynona Owl had a crush on Winston Owl, who was besotted by Sadie Jetson the human, who had it bad for Yehudi, the taiko drum player from Vancouver.

 My first chore was to  round up the remaining eight hamsters running loose in Sadie home. Being a herding dog, I was pleased to be able to put my innate skills to good use, although the temptation to eat them was strong indeed. Then I loaded the hamsters into a box, wrapped it in shiny read paper and tied a red velvet ribbon around it.

Next I sent a paw-written note to each of the owls:

“If you’re looking for  love, meet me at the  red and white barn on pig farm hill tonight at midnight.

 

A secret admirer”

Finally, I prepared a love nest for the owls - 

owl nesting box


 complete with a Jacuzzi and rose petals sprinkled on the bed.

For mood music, I recorded the scratching sounds mice make as the run through the rafters. Then I hid behind some straw bales and waited.

Winston was the first to arrive with a “what the . . .” expression on his face. Wynona flew in a couple of minutes later.

I had hoped to see courting behavior. Instead, Winston scratched his hind end, seemingly taking no notice of Wynona.

“Hello, Winston,” Wynona clucked. And she hid her face under a wing, overcome by shyness.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I got this note . . .” she began. “Oh, what a beautiful box! I wonder what’s inside it.” She flew down to the hamster box and tore it open with her sharp talons.

“Mine,” screeched Winston, snatching a hamster right out of Wynona’s claws.

Oh, bother! What would it take to get these two lovebirds together? (And I use the term "lovebirds" loosely.) They were clicking, at each other, and Winston even took a swipe at Wynona with his claw, (the one that wasn't holding the hamster).

There was only one card left to play. I replaced the CD of scratching mice with a rendition of “Owl Be Seeing You.” As the soulful music echoed through the barn and down the slopes of pig farm hill, the owls’ angry clicking was replaced by cooing and soft, vibrating hoots that would melt the heart of a chicken. (All chicken are stupid.) Winston, leaned against Wynona, who gently preened Winston’s feathers and nodded her head up and down in time to the music. I left the two of them alone. My job was completed. If all goes well, there will be owlets next spring.

This is Matchmaker Molly, signing off.