Iverson's Vision Quest Chapter 3

           
     Chapter 3  (see previous blogs for the beginning of the story.) (Note - Iverson is a fairy.)


Well, the future looked grim for Iverson, and, indeed, that might have been his end had not Dorothea's boyfriend Tim Bustly, who worked for the Department of Fish and Wildlife, made a special point of visiting the pound to see Iverson.
""That's . . .That's . . .I can't believe it." He sputtered and stared, then whipped out his digital camera and took pictures of Iverson from every angle. "I've never seen anything like that before."
"You can't euthanize it!"he gasped. "What you have here is a new species. Probably an endangered species. This is an abso-fantasmagorically amazing find."
And he poured through all of his taxonomic books, but couldn't come up with any animal matching Iverson's description.
Every biologist dreams of discovering a new species, and Tim was no exception. "Ornithptera, bustlii -the name swam in his head. Or maybe Magicicada, bustlii. This was huge. He invoked the Endangered Species Act and forbade the pound from euthanizing Iverson. However, Tim had overlooked one detail. Iverson was not officially on the list of endangered species, and therefore was not privileged to protection under the Act.
In desperation, Tim told his boss, Carney, about the creature, but Carney's reaction was unexpected. "How did this creature get past the agricultural check point?," he asked, and, muttering something about heads rolling, made a call to his supervisor.
Kneeling next to the keyhole, Tim could hear snatches of the conversation. "Introduced species," "threat to native wildlife," and finally, "you know, chief, I'd like to dissect it."

Iverson's Vision Quest - chapter 2

Iverson's Vision Quest Chapter 2 (see previous post for Chapter 1)

Now Mr. Kuggleman and Alpo, the Hilliards' Chihuahua had had run-ins before, and this one was the last straw. Mr. Kuggleman had gotten used to quiet while the Hilliard children and dog were on vacation.  First Mr. Kugglemand tried to ignore the yapping. Then he yelled, "shuddup, dog," through the window and threw his sneaker at the fence, and finally, after Alpo had been snarling, growling, barking and whining non-stop for another fifteen minutes, he filed a complaint with Animal control.
     Dorothea Blakeley went to the Hilliard house to investigate. Alpo was at the side fence barking at the hollyhocks and his tail bounced up and down with each bark.
      "I don't know what's wrong," said Jan Hilliard, the Hilliards' mom. "He's been doing that ever since we got back from Canada." She and Dorothea went closer to investigate, and that was the first glimpse any human had ever had of a Canadian tree fairy. (Iverson was pretty drunk on chocolate and not at all careful about keeping hidden from view.)
     From her truck, Dorothea extracted a butterfly net, and, the next thing Iverson knew, he was trapped in a small cage in the pound.  He tried to bite a hole through the mesh, but it was made of cold steel, which provides protection against fairies, as anyone knows, and anyway, the steel was much stronger than Iverson's teeth. Dorothea consulted her supervisor because she'd never caught a fairy before, and wasn't sure what to do with Iverson. Protocol required holding a stray animal for seven days and then either euthanizing it or making it available for adoption; so that's what they did. They fed him crushed cat food. Iverson tried to change it into fillet mignon, but the cold steel dampened his powers and the cat food remained cat food. Still, Iverson managed to choke some of it down to keep up his strength.

Iverson's Vision Quest

"Iverson's Vision Quest."

         Iverson had a weakness for anything chocolate, and that craving proved to be his downfall. He’d spent two nights in the Canadian Rockies on a Vision Quest, a rite of passage for a boy entering manhood, and he was bored, hungry, and tired, and completely without visions. In fact, on the night of his disappearance, he was trying to make up a good vision story, when he noticed a family of campers. They couldn’t see him because he was seventeen feet up a Canadian maple tree.

And that’s when Iverson noticed it - an open rucksack containing Reese’s chocolate peanut butter cups. He fluttered his wings in anticipation, as he counted the chocolates - one, two, three – who cares – a whole lot of chocolate! And he decided to take the risk and swoop down into the rucksack for a tiny smackrel of chocolate. In the failing light, a fairy didn’t look much different from a small bat.
              Anyway, he was overlooked.

              The next morning, everything got loaded into the car for the trip to New York. Back at home, Mrs. Hilliard, the mother, was the first person to notice the rucksack’s movements. Figuring it to be some sort of large insect, she took the bag into the back yard, unzipped it and quickly walked inside - just in case whatever was inside could sting. And so Iverson got his first glimpse of Middletown, New York and of the Hilliards’s back yard.
             The bright hollyhocks next to Mr. Kugglemans’ fence caught Iverson’s eye, and he bounced around from petal to petal, stretching his wings and flexing his knees. 
             With a terrible yapping, Alpo, the Hilliards' attack Chihuahua charged the hollyhocks and woke Mr. Kuggleman from a blissful couch nap.

            "Shuddup, dog," he yelled, said some words I can't repeat, and filed a complaint with Animal Control.

Writing, Friendship, and Canadian Tree Fairies

Hi, Readers,

This is Molly's human, and I'm posting a story that I wrote several years ago.  I'll post it in several installments. Don't look for Molly's humor here, she'll be back in a couple of weeks.

I hope you enjoy:


On Writing, Friendship, and Canadian Tree Fairies

My friend Charlotte was diagnosed with Lou Gherig's disease, which is a slow way to die. Back when she was stronger, we took a writing class together at Diablo Valley College, and during one of the writing exercises, Charlotte wondered:
If you discover a fairy in your back yard, will the EPA classify it as an endangered species?
Will you have to file an Environmental Impact Report to dig up your petunias?
Maybe you should just call the exterminator.

Charlotte never finished the story. Sometime later, she asked me to do it. Being a little dense, I didn't realize at the time that she was giving me the story because she was dying and giving away all the things she cared about.  So here is, and here's lots of love to you, Charlotte.

 "Iverson's Vision Quest."

Ask Molly

Nancy, from Augusta, Georgia: writes:

Dear Molly,
My dog Lucy won't stop barking. She has an anxiety disorder, and any time I try to leave her, she barks and won't stop. I've told her "my way or the freeway," but she keeps on barking. I've tried everything, I pet her, soothe her, give her snacks, everything. She keeps on barking. What should I do.

Frustrated Nancy in Georgia

Dear Nancy,

Does she whimper, shiver, whine, do submissive peeing? Is her tail down flat between her legs when she barks? If so, she is truly anxious.

Plain old barking, with her tail doing a down stroke with the barks, is just her telling you what she wants. And you don't have to worry about her doggy psyche. Normally, I'd smile at how well Lucy has you trained, but I'd hate to see her end up on the freeway or (shudder) the pound.

Lucy loves you and you love her. That's clear, and that's the way it should be. 

Most dogs can't read your mind. They certainly don't understand, "my way or the freeway." You need to tell her "no" in a voice she'll understand means "no." And turn away from her whenever she barks. And whatever you do, don't pet her or feed her when she's barking. That said, she's gotten away with it for so long it will be hard to unlearn the behavior. I recommend a doggy trainer - and ear plugs.


Good luck,

Molly

Readers, if your dog is doing something bad, never, ever pet or feed him/her hoping to distract your dog. We're pretty smart. We'll figure it out. Then we'll act up, come over for a treat, act up, come over for a treat, and so forth.

Ask Molly

Dear Molly,

Sometimes my humans leave me at home alone, and I miss them. Doggie anxiety is awful. What can  I do?

Harley

Dear Harley,

We love our humans.  My friend Lucy has trained her human not to leave her alone by barking her head off if  Nancy (her human) even thinks of heading for the door without her.  However this is most unusual. Most humans can't be trained that well.  And they will go out.

The best thing to do is to find something with which to amuse yourself while they are gone.  I recommend, toilet paper rolls, slippers, and furniture legs. And, of course, if your human has left a ham bone or similar attraction within your reach you are home free.

Buck up.

They always come back.

Molly

Molly's Writing Group

Hey, Ho, Readers,

Molly here, canine author of The Molly Chronicles. Today I’m honing my writing skills at the Pinole Library Writers’ Group. Eddie, (human) has given us a prompt to write about: If you were reincarnated into a non-human form, what would you be?  

 I remember that Buster, my Chihuahua publicist, has been on my case to get out there and hustle my book.  I incorporate that into my writing.

I close my collie eyes and imagine myself as something really splashy and showy.

A Chinese New Year’s dragon!  I download some clip art for inspiration.

 

 

I decide. I am a dragon thirty feet long, with a forty foot wing span, and yellow, orange, red and gold scales.  And streaming behind me, a sky-blue banner tells the world, “buy The Molly Chronicles on sale on Amazon for only $12.45.”

And I can see myself parading in front of Barnes and Nobles bookstores throughout the country, my scales flashing gold in the sunshine, and  the scent of  cloves wafting out of my smoking nostrils.

Meanwhile, Buster is attracting attention yapping and dancing around me on his hind legs. With each bark, his stubby tail jerks downward in enthusiasm. And, my human walks under my wing  passing out the books and collecting money.

And people throw liver snacks to me as I pass by.

Sigh!

Your Friend,

Molly
(author - The Molly Chronicles)