Gremlins II

Eek!!!! The gremlins are everywhere! I tell you, they're everywhere - even in your local supermarket. Every so often, the food all gets moved around. It must be the work of gremlins. How else do you explain it?

My friend, Ann Onymous, wrote the following letter and put copies of it under the windshield wipers of the cars in the parking lot:


"Dear Safeway Customers,

In an attempt to get you to buy more products, Safeway has moved all their merchandise around. They figure that, as you walk up and down the aisles looking for what you need, you'll pick up additional items and spend more money.

Of course it's inconvenient for people with mobility problems, but, hey, that's business. The elderly aren't likely to complain; they'll just think they're experiencing Alzheimers symptoms.

Please tell the Safeway management what you think of their clever little ploy. And if you need help finding anything, your friendly and helpful management will always be glad to assist you."

My next story will be another gremlin story, and the little guys are after me"

First, the gremlins gave me gophers.
Then, they gave me a cold.
Then they gave me writer's block.
Then my clothes dryer broke down.
And don't get me started on computer gremlins!!!! Computers have always had it in for me.

What do you suppose a gremlin looks like? I think he looks exactly like a gopher. Back when the housing market was still going strong, there was a lot of development in our neighborhood, and all the gophers got chased out of the empty fields and into my back yard.

On the bright side, gremlins - I mean gophers - are the world's best rototillers, and the adobe clay in my backyard is now made up of particles the size of sand grains. And I think they're cute. If only they'd use their powers for good instead of eating my lawn.