Temporary Address

Temporary Address

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Jury Duty - Elaine's Version






This is Molly’s human, Elaine, setting the record straight about jury duty.

 I like to write as Molly because she is much cuter than I am. Molly thinks blogging and computers are a waste of time that could be put to better use - like taking her for a walk.
Yes, I had jury duty. Molly did not get to come with me. I was an alternate juror, and didn’t get to vote on the verdict. The jury found him guilty. I don’t know what sentence the judge handed down. 
Parking was a pain. Other than that, jury duty wasn't bad. 
I did doodle during the trial, but any doodling I did was handed in and destroyed at the end of my service. The doodling shown on the July 27th post was done earlier during various meetings and writing classes I went to.
Caesar was a figment of my imagination. Two of the officers who testified work with police dogs, and that’s where I got the idea of a police dog taking the stand.
I hope you liked my story.

Now here comes a shameless sales pitch: “Temporary Address” is a serious work. Please check it out. You can read it by clicking the photos on the right. Buy the Kindle version on Amazon.com or a paperback or e-book on Lulu.com. (click the "Lulu" button at the top of my blog.) Barnes & Noble also caries the e-book.
If you like any of my writing, please tell your friends.

As Molly would say, licks and tail wags to you all,

Elaine Glimme

Friday, June 28, 2013

The Molly Chronicles - Jury Duty, the Wrap Up




Howdy, humans and fellow dogs,

This is Molly the Border Collie wrapping up her story about jury duty.
We found Rudy guilty of going for a ride in other people’s cars without their permission. He has to go to jail, which is like the pound only not as bad.
During a break, Caesar and I got some time alone together. Caesar said that he could easily fall for a girl like me, but he was married to his job. A plice dog and a Border Collie - we come from two different worlds; it probably wouldn't have worked out.
He licked my nose and walked away. "Here's lookin' at you, kid," he said. "Well always have the steps of the courthouse." Then he was gone. I'll never forget that moment as long as I live. 
My jury service is over, and I hold my head up higher now. I was part of the humans' justice system, and I performed well, upholding the proud reputation of the Border Collie.
I'll try to get my human to quit playing solitaire and give you her account of our jury service. Meanwhile, if you liked my story, please tell your friends about me. 

With a proud salute to you all, 
This is Molly, signing off. 



Thursday, June 27, 2013

The Molly Chronicles - Jury Duty

Examples of my human's doodles. She was doodling while the witnesses gave thier testimony. A Border Collie like myself would never do that.







Human's note: I did doodle during the trial, but those drawing were destroyed. Molly must have gotten these out of my desk. They were done earlier, the result of meetings - boring and otherwise - and writer's classes. 

The Molly Chronicles - Jury Duty



Hey, Ho, it's Molly here reporting again from the courthouse.

Yesterday was a thrilling day for me actually hearing from Officer Hansen, who trains dogs in the K-9 Corp.
Today, Officer Hansen took the witness stand again, and, being a dog, I was very interested in his testimony. Officer Hansen works with Caesar, a five-year-old German Shepherd, and it was Caesar who had apprehended the suspect, Rudy.
I couldn’t help it. I whined and I was straining at the leash as Officer Hansen described Caesar’s actions on the morning of April 26th that led to the arrest of Rudy the car borrower.

It gets better! The District Attorney asked that Caesar appear in court to testify.
I felt like saluting as Caesar took the stand. In true form, Caesar raised his right paw and barked his sworn oath.

They did a courtroom demonstration of the arrest. Caesar stood ready, his ears cocked forward waiting for the signal from Officer Hansen. They brought in a police officer dressed in padding who was supposed to look like the perpetrator. (Perpetrator means very, very bad dog in human speak.)
On command, Caesar lunged at the “perp”, grabbing his right forearm in his massive jaw. They struggled for a few minutes. It looked as if Caesar had subdued the human, and then all of a sudden he slipped out of Caesar’s grasp. We all held our breath. What would Caesar do next?

Then the “perp” did something really sneaky. He pulled a sausage out of his pocket and threw it across the room, and he smiled and told Caesar, “go get it, doggy!”
Caesar didn’t even flinch. He grabbed the human by the arm and held on until Officer Hansen slapped his handcuffs on the “perp” and led him away. I feel so much safer knowing brave dogs like Caesar are patrolling our streets. 




                                            A Snapshot of Caesar on Patrol


I think I’m falling in love with Caesar. You may call it puppy love, a crush, infatuation, hero worship. But I can see a real future with Caesar – a litter of puppies, a vacation home in dog park.


This is Molly signing off with a sigh.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

The Molly Chronicles - Jury Duty


Hello, Molly the Collie here, reporting from the courthouse.

The District attorney called his first witness, George, who wanted to go for a ride in his car. I think he needed to buy treats for his dog, but he didn’t actually say that. Anyway, his car was gone – stolen!!!!!
Later, a police officer found the car with Rudy in it. He asked George if he had given Rudy permission to take his car, and George said, “no.” The plot thickens – Rudy had special sticks for breaking into other people’s cars.

Then Alice McGuilecudy took the stand. She was getting ready to go to work (which is a waste of time, if you ask me), and her car wasn’t there. Another officer found Rudy taking a back pack and a car stereo out of Alice’s car.

There were seven more witnesses including four police officers. The stories were all the same. Rudy was found in stolen cars with sticks for car-stealing in his pocket. It looked bad for good ol’ Rudy.
Then Jerome, the defense lawyer called Rudy to the stand. Rudy explained that it was all a mistake. Rudy thought he was borrowing the cars from his friends. And he only took the stereo out of Alice’s car because it was dirty, and he wanted to polish it up.

The next witness was Officer Kevin Hansen. From the moment he entered the courtroom, my keen nose detected an elite air about him, a sense of something noble, heroic even. I pricked up my ears in anticipation waiting for him to be sworn in.

Be still, my doggie heart! I hadn’t dared to hope as much, but yes, the man was a dog handler! He worked with the K-9 Corp, an elite group of animals sworn to protect and to serve us.
I look up to these dogs. They are my heroes. 

You won't believe what happened next. Just wait till you read tomorrow's report.

Mollie, AFK (away from keyboard)

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The Molly Chronicles - Jury Duty


My human and I got chosen to serve on the jury. My doggie heart beat with the highest sense duty and pride as I raised my right paw and barked my promise to uphold the law and the highest standards of conduct.
Besides the judge and us jurors, there were three other humans in the courtroom. The district attorney’s name was Lester, but I think of him as peanut breath. He’d be good at playing “fetch”.
The defense lawyer, Jerome, was a little old guy with a runny nose. He wore a bow tie and suspenders, and he smelled like Ben Gay. I’ll bet he feeds dogs under the table. (Ha Ha!)
The guy on trial, Rudy, looked like he’d eaten a doggy worming pill (yuck). I wasn’t allowed to smell his butt.
The D. A. said that Rudy had gone for a ride in a car. I can understand that. Going for a ride is one of my favorite things to do. Unfortunately, Rudy had gone for a ride in someone else’s car. In fact, Rudy had gone for rides in several other people’s cars.
Jerome, Rudy’s lawyer, explained that it was all a misunderstanding. Rudy had thought he was borrowing the cars, and not stealing them.
I could understand that too. I have had several similar misunderstandings. There was the ham that my human had left on the counter which I could have sworn she meant for me. And there were several garbage incidents, which were not my fault.
I left the courthouse eager for the next day when Lester would begin calling witnesses. And I was drooling, just thinking about the ham bone.



Molly, signing off with a patriotic salute.

Monday, June 24, 2013

The Molly Chronicles - Jury Duty

The Molly Chronicles Jury Duty  

We Enter the Courtroom

They chose sixty of us at random as a pool of prospective jurors, and we were sent upstairs to Courtroom Two. I hoped and prayed that they would choose my human and me to serve on the jury. My human, I regret to say, was hoping to get out of it.

The courtroom was modeled after the set in the “Perry Mason” shows, except that our courtroom had more comfortable seats. Unfortunately, I,               being a dog, had to lie on the floor.

I told the judge that I could save everyone a whole lot of trouble. I could tell her if the defendant was guilty or innocent by smelling his butt. The judge said that’s not the way our court system works. Humans are sometimes very stubborn and backward.

Anyway, they began the jury selection process called “voire dire” which is a fancy shmancy term for all talk and no liver snacks. They interviewed the first eighteen prospective jurors. The judge politely thanked and excused some of them and she said that being excused was no reflection on their character. Still, I’d be devastated if they excused me.

My human was the fifty second person interviewed. She forgot to mention that she's a writer. Fortunately I was there, and told everyone about “Temporary Address”. The judge said she’d read it after the trial. She is a very honest person, and wouldn’t lie about a thing like that, even to be polite. 

Molly, signing off, (and all agog with excitement)


Friday, June 21, 2013

The Molly Chronicles - Jury Duty



Jury Duty – Day 1

As I said yesterday, my human and I have been summoned for jury duty. I’m pleased and humbled – and just thrilled with the prospect of serving. As you know Border Collies have a great sense of duty and a work ethic second to no man or beast.
We appeared Wednesday morning, and had to pass through a metal detector. The sheriffs at the door normally wouldn’t let a dog into the building, but they could tell at once what a noble animal I am; so they let me in, no questions asked.
I must state for the record that I understand their “no dogs in the courthouse” policy. Can you imagine the trouble Astro would cause if he were ever allowed inside? He’d chew up everything from the attorney’s briefs to the briefs that the defendants were wearing. And he’d probably bark and he'd slobber all over everyone’s faces.

As for Buddy, he’d just lift his leg and pee on the judge. 



Thursday, June 20, 2013

The Molly Chronicles - Jury Duty



My human and I got summoned for jury duty, and we got assigned to a case. The judge, who is a wise and kind human, asked us not to talk about the trial until it’s over, and I have to respect her wishes. After the trial, I plan to blog about my impression of the human’s justice system. I can tell you this much, however. They don’t hand out Beggin’ Strips or rawhide chews in the courtroom, and you aren’t allowed to pee on the metal detectors.

Molly, signing off.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Fear

Sometimes fear sneaks up on me. Silent like a hawk, swooping down on it prize. I don't want to be the prize.  One minute the sun's bright; I'm bright; I'm smiling, talking. And suddenly out of nowhere I'm stopped, frozen.  My throat chokes and the stupidest drivel comes pouring out of my mouth. Later comes the fallout. "I should have said..." "Why didn't I..." "What was I thinking? Clearly I wasn't thinking at all." And the moment's gone. And it's a magical moment, a time when something important could have happened, an opportunity to be seized.

And sometimes fear is a block of grey ice, a dungeon, a straight jacket. Sometimes it's a well I fall into and can't climb out of. The world's up there, mine for the grabbing, and I can't climb up the steep sides.

Sometimes I'm a turtle snug in my shell. 

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Mating

Birds in springtime remind me of being seventeen.
The females don't admit to paying any attention to the males. They stroll nonchallantly through the backyard, stoppping occasionally to peck at a bug.
But the males strut.Their wings outstretched they highstep in front of their paramours. "Look at me". (the females don't look) "I'm so cool and studly." They puff out their chests till it looks like they'll explode.
Then the boys take off into the blue, circle a bit, and land, by the strangest of coinsidences, right in front of their bored-looking girlfriends.
This courtship rite gets repeated over and over. She'll never notice him. He's doomed. He'll die alone, a frustrated shell of a pidgeon. That's what it looks like.
And then and then, and then.
They fly off in a chirp, chase each other through the maple branches, and finally land in the plum tree. She's still and he grabs his moment. Wings and feathers flutter, a quick twitter and cheep, and it's all over.
There will be fledglings this year.
Not so different from human teenagers.