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Chapter XXXVII pgs. 248-249
She questioned the wisdom of bringing Johanna home with her. What if Johanna awoke and became violent! Or suppose a neighbor came by and saw her, and called the police! But Maria couldn’t think of any safer place to leave Johanna, and so, with much misgiving, she drove home thankful that night had fallen, and that she’d probably be able to get her into the house without attracting any attention.
Maria’s home was a converted army barrack, which she shared with her father, mother, and two younger brothers. Her father hauled debris and did what odd jobs he could find. Her mother cleaned houses and baby-sat. They had all made sacrifices to send Maria to nursing school in the hope that she would make good - would raise herself and her family out of poverty. Well, thought Maria, that dream is over. And, she cried bitterly for losing the American dream, and for shaming and disappointing her parents. And she cried because she was so frightened of what could happen next.
Ordinarily she shouted a greeting to her parents when she entered the house. This time, Maria entered silently. And she laid Johanna on her own bed, limp and unresponsive, but with a slightly stronger breath and pulse.
What have I done, Maria asked herself staring at Johanna’s limp body. What, in God’s name am I doing now? Maria had never bent rules before. She’d never questioned superiors. And now - and now she’d flagrantly disobeyed orders and ignored the ones in authority. She felt trapped as if walls of water were about to drown her.
Someone else had done this, someone reckless, foolish, someone in Maria’s body who was not Maria, and now she, Maria, was left to deal with the consequences. For Maria was sure that sooner or later she would be caught, and maybe jailed as a traitor. And what if Johanna were to die in her apartment? This was more than she could deal with.
Maria bent over Johanna’s body checking her pulse one more time. It seemed the only thing she was capable of doing. Why had she done it? Johanna was in all likelihood a terrorist, a cruel and dangerous person, and an enemy of the United States of America. And she, Maria, had let her loose to prey on innocents, to wreck havoc.
Maria shuddered thinking about the country she had just betrayed. She remembered swearing her allegiance to the United States. She thought about everything that this country had given her – an education, an opportunity for her family to have a comfortable life, a life that she couldn’t have aspired to in the Philippines. She remembered how large and brilliant the flag had seemed the day she pledged her loyalty to the United States of America. And now, now she’d thrown it all away. And for what?
Gently she passed her hands over the welts and bruises on Johanna’s body. A few places were still infected. Some scars ran deep – great ropes of reddish, thickened skin knotted over her stomach and the insides of her arms and legs – the sensitive, tender parts of her body. And Maria understood - the country to which she pledged her loyalty would not allow this to happen. The United States that she loved, that she had promised to defend, was a country that did not condone torture. Whatever Johanna did, she was not entitled to such treatment. And whoever did this, whoever condoned this, was an enemy of the United States.
Maria startled as her mother entered her room. She wiped at her tears. Her mother tipped her face quizzically. “What happened?”
“She has been hurt. Maybe killed. I didn’t know what to do.” Maria’s mother left the room. Quietly she came back with a small bottle of antiseptic. And she kissed her daughter.
“I have been…fired,” said Maria.
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