The Molly Chronicles - Jury Duty

Hello, Molly the Collie here, reporting from the courthouse.

The District attorney called his first witness, George, who wanted to go for a ride in his car. I think he needed to buy treats for his dog, but he didn’t actually say that. Anyway, his car was gone – stolen!!!!!

Later, a police officer found the car with Rudy in it. He asked George if he had given Rudy permission to take his car, and George said, “no.” The plot thickens – Rudy had special sticks for breaking into other people’s cars.

Then Alice McGuilecudy took the stand. She was getting ready to go to work (which is a waste of time, if you ask me), and her car wasn’t there. Another officer found Rudy taking a back pack and a car stereo out of Alice’s car.

There were seven more witnesses including four police officers. The stories were all the same. Rudy was found in stolen cars with sticks for car-stealing in his pocket. It looked bad for good ol’ Rudy.

Then Jerome, the defense lawyer called Rudy to the stand. Rudy explained that it was all a mistake. Rudy thought he was borrowing the cars from his friends. And he only took the stereo out of Alice’s car because it was dirty, and he wanted to polish it up.

The next witness was Officer Kevin Hansen. From the moment he entered the courtroom, my keen nose detected an elite air about him, a sense of something noble, heroic even. I pricked up my ears in anticipation waiting for him to be sworn in.

Be still, my doggie heart! I hadn’t dared to hope as much, but yes, the man was a dog handler! He worked with the K-9 Corp, an elite group of animals sworn to protect and to serve us.

I look up to these dogs. They are my heroes. 

You won't believe what happened next. Just wait till you read tomorrow's report.

Mollie, AFK (away from keyboard)

The Molly Chronicles - Jury Duty

My human and I got chosen to serve on the jury. My doggie heart beat with the highest sense duty and pride as I raised my right paw and barked my promise to uphold the law and the highest standards of conduct.

Besides the judge and us jurors, there were three other humans in the courtroom. The district attorney’s name was Lester, but I think of him as peanut breath. He’d be good at playing “fetch”.

The defense lawyer, Jerome, was a little old guy with a runny nose. He wore a bow tie and suspenders, and he smelled like Ben Gay. I’ll bet he feeds dogs under the table. (Ha Ha!)

The guy on trial, Rudy, looked like he’d eaten a doggy worming pill (yuck). I wasn’t allowed to smell his butt.

The D. A. said that Rudy had gone for a ride in a car. I can understand that. Going for a ride is one of my favorite things to do. Unfortunately, Rudy had gone for a ride in someone else’s car. In fact, Rudy had gone for rides in several other people’s cars.

Jerome, Rudy’s lawyer, explained that it was all a misunderstanding. Rudy had thought he was borrowing the cars, and not stealing them.

I could understand that too. I have had several similar misunderstandings. There was the ham that my human had left on the counter which I could have sworn she meant for me. And there were several garbage incidents, which were not my fault.

I left the courthouse eager for the next day when Lester would begin calling witnesses. And I was drooling, just thinking about the ham bone.

Molly, signing off with a patriotic salute.

The Molly Chronicles - Jury Duty

The Molly Chronicles Jury Duty  

We Enter the Courtroom

They chose sixty of us at random as a pool of prospective jurors, and we were sent upstairs to Courtroom Two. I hoped and prayed that they would choose my human and me to serve on the jury. My human, I regret to say, was hoping to get out of it.

The courtroom was modeled after the set in the “Perry Mason” shows, except that our courtroom had more comfortable seats. Unfortunately, I,               being a dog, had to lie on the floor.

I told the judge that I could save everyone a whole lot of trouble. I could tell her if the defendant was guilty or innocent by smelling his butt. The judge said that’s not the way our court system works. Humans are sometimes very stubborn and backward.

Anyway, they began the jury selection process called “voire dire” which is a fancy shmancy term for all talk and no liver snacks. They interviewed the first eighteen prospective jurors. The judge politely thanked and excused some of them and she said that being excused was no reflection on their character. Still, I’d be devastated if they excused me.

My human was the fifty second person interviewed. She forgot to mention that she's a writer. Fortunately I was there, and told everyone about “Temporary Address”. The judge said she’d read it after the trial. She is a very honest person, and wouldn’t lie about a thing like that, even to be polite. 

Molly, signing off, (and all agog with excitement)

The Molly Chronicles - Jury Duty

Jury Duty – Day 1

As I said yesterday, my human and I have been summoned for jury duty. I’m pleased and humbled – and just thrilled with the prospect of serving. As you know Border Collies have a great sense of duty and a work ethic second to no man or beast.

We appeared Wednesday morning, and had to pass through a metal detector. The sheriffs at the door normally wouldn’t let a dog into the building, but they could tell at once what a noble animal I am; so they let me in, no questions asked.

I must state for the record that I understand their “no dogs in the courthouse” policy. Can you imagine the trouble Astro would cause if he were ever allowed inside? He’d chew up everything from the attorney’s briefs to the briefs that the defendants were wearing. And he’d probably bark and he'd slobber all over everyone’s faces.

As for Buddy, he’d just lift his leg and pee on the judge. 

The Molly Chronicles - Jury Duty

My human and I got summoned for jury duty, and we got assigned to a case. The judge, who is a wise and kind human, asked us not to talk about the trial until it’s over, and I have to respect her wishes. After the trial, I plan to blog about my impression of the human’s justice system. I can tell you this much, however. They don’t hand out Beggin’ Strips or rawhide chews in the courtroom, and you aren’t allowed to pee on the metal detectors.

Molly, signing off.

Fear

Sometimes fear sneaks up on me. Silent like a hawk, swooping down on it prize. I don't want to be the prize.  One minute the sun's bright; I'm bright; I'm smiling, talking. And suddenly out of nowhere I'm stopped, frozen.  My throat chokes and the stupidest drivel comes pouring out of my mouth. Later comes the fallout. "I should have said..." "Why didn't I..." "What was I thinking? Clearly I wasn't thinking at all." And the moment's gone. And it's a magical moment, a time when something important could have happened, an opportunity to be seized.

And sometimes fear is a block of grey ice, a dungeon, a straight jacket. Sometimes it's a well I fall into and can't climb out of. The world's up there, mine for the grabbing, and I can't climb up the steep sides.

Sometimes I'm a turtle snug in my shell. 

Mating

Birds in springtime remind me of being seventeen.
The females don't admit to paying any attention to the males. They stroll nonchallantly through the backyard, stoppping occasionally to peck at a bug.
But the males strut.Their wings outstretched they highstep in front of their paramours. "Look at me". (the females don't look) "I'm so cool and studly." They puff out their chests till it looks like they'll explode.
Then the boys take off into the blue, circle a bit, and land, by the strangest of coinsidences, right in front of their bored-looking girlfriends.
This courtship rite gets repeated over and over. She'll never notice him. He's doomed. He'll die alone, a frustrated shell of a pidgeon. That's what it looks like.
And then and then, and then.
They fly off in a chirp, chase each other through the maple branches, and finally land in the plum tree. She's still and he grabs his moment. Wings and feathers flutter, a quick twitter and cheep, and it's all over.
There will be fledglings this year.
Not so different from human teenagers.