Iverson's Vision Quest Chapter 6 (See previous post - "The Whole Story So Far) to read the beginning. Please note: Iverson is a French fairy
Iverson's Vision Quest. Chapter 6
Meanwhile in New York, Melvin Hamstrickian was feeling like dirt from a hot dog that had fallen into the cat litter box. He'd tried drowning his frustration in malt liquor, and was now systematically throwing the contents of his tool box -screw drivers, electric drill bits, and wrenches - at the TV set. That's when his crescent wrench hit the TV's "on" button. Just as he was fixing to launch the electric drill at the TV, sending it to its final reward, Iverson's cherub face on Oprah caught Melvin's attention.
Melvin's ego was still raw from his disastrous appearance on "The Apprentice" and the infamous Porky Pig challenge, where contestants had had to sell live pigs in downtown L.A. His team mates had been dodging hog tusks and prodding the back sides of the angry swine - seven-hundred-pound slabs of thundering bacon still on the hoof - as Melvin later put it. And all the while what was Melvin doing? He had been caught on camera snoring behind a Pottery Barn dumpster with his head resting on a pregnant sow's belly, the sow having been rendered unconscious by a generous serving of Stolichnaya.
Melvin was still smarting from Donald Trump's verbal deluge to him in the board room: "Useless, blubbering chicken-twit," and "maggot man" and "bleeping, bleep, bleep, bleeping, bleep of bleep," and the Donald's ultimate pronouncement: "You're fired." Is anything redder than a baboon's behind? Donald's face was that day.
Author's note: This is a work of fiction. Everything that happens in this story is fiction. As far a I know, Donald Trump's face never got redder than a baboon's behind. No pigs were hurt in the writing of this story.
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